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Prayer

I am a man who has never yet had a single prayer answered.

I have had a wonderful life so far, and I look forward with excitement and anticipation to what’s next.  But none of those wonderful things so far have been anything I worked or prayed for.  Not one.

It challenges my faith.  I’m gay so I’m not even welcome to be a Christian, which has kind of spoiled any sort of institutional faith for me.  Still, I cannot look at the majesty and genius of creation without seeing some divine force behind it all.  I cannot look at the nature of life objectively and see this period of consciousness on this plane as finite.  Everything that science has discovered only makes me believe more.  In this way I do believe in God.  I do believe that there is more to life than my limited senses can perceive.

While I think faith is believing without need of proof, I find that life is filled with all the evidence I need.

And then there’s prayer.

The power of prayer is much spoken of.  “Ask and ye shall receive,” “pray without ceasing,” may God bless America from the likes of Abraham Lincoln, President Obama, Celine Dion, on and on.  I see people who’s lives have actually unfolded along the lines that they have endeavored.  By simply having faith, so many seem to have found their way to at least a portion of their heart’s desires.  I honestly think that prayers are answered.  My strong faith makes me believe that my prayers are heard.  That almost hurts more than if I did not believe at all.

But then there’s my experience of prayer.

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