I think I have a solution for this rather ridiculous debate we’re having over taxes.
To me it seems obvious that if you’re in debt, you need to raise money. Sadly, the way the government does that is through taxation. On the plus side, most of us in this country enjoy a standard of living that exceeds the wildest fantasies of Louis XIV. And I’m not talking about the rich people.
Just electricity or running water or sewage provide us a better life than kings and queens have lived throughout most of history not to mention better than the majority of the present day population the in most of the rest of the world. In fact, we used to have the best of everything. The best schools, the best roads, the best healthcare, the best transportation, we were number one.
Apparently the best of everything was a problem for some people. So, thirty years ago we started toying with the idea of not paying our bills and living on a kind of collective platinum card. We fell out of first place in a lot of categories, like education. But who needs smart people in a service economy, right? Our heritage days lasted about ten years, by then the economy was thrashed. It took the previous President Bush and us another ten years to get back in the black and pay the national charge card back down. We even had a surplus.
So, being Americans, we not only stopped paying our bills again we took that platinum card with the zero balance out and we did some serious damage – mostly to other countries, but we were definitely on a spree.
Now, the bill’s due again. But here’s the interesting wrinkle. There are apparently a lot of people who still don’t want to pay their bill.
Here’s my solution.
I got the idea recently from a man who refused to pay a tax for fire service to be provided to his rural area home. He thought it wasn’t fair so, since it was optional, he refused to pay. Then, his house caught on fire. It burned down. But, think of all the money he saved not by not paying that fire service tax! I’m sure he was very happy with his decision.
I think it’s an idea that we can make work on a larger scale.
Since so many people seem unconcerned that we aren’t number one at much of anything anymore, we should offer second class status to all those people who don’t want to pay taxes and are content with second or third or fifteenth best. I’m a firm believer in the “you get what you pay for” philosophy so why not give people what they’re willing to pay for? No one makes anybody buy first class tickets, even though we know the seats are more comfortable and the service is better.
So, let’s do the same with taxes.
For those who want to opt out of closing the party trough by keeping those surplus era tax cuts that have run up the family platinum card, we should offer discount citizenship.
Those of us who want healthcare and social security and education can pay our taxes. And those who don’t are on their own. Think of how we could clear out those overcrowded classrooms if we could eliminate the children of those people who think taxes are so unfair. Clogged roads and highways? No problem. Don’t pay your taxes and simply walk or drive off road. Think of what a breeze it would be to get to work. Long security lines at the airport? Not to worry, second class Americans won’t be at the airport at all.
Terrorist threats? Good luck with that. Security is for the First Class Citizen. Those who choose to live in Second Class America can break out those second amendment remedies I’ve heard so much about.
We would only have to insure the bank accounts of those people who want an FDIC enough to pay their taxes. The police would only have to attend to crimes against those willing to pay for protection. Think of how fast the ambulance could get to your house with the roads cleared and second class American’s on their own to get to their witch doctors through the woods. Or the Fire Department, or the mail or even commercial services unable to use the tax payer’s First Class roads to deliver their goods to those unwilling to pay.
There would be so much more flu vaccine to go around if we only had to insure there was enough for the First Class Tax Payers. Medical and technological advances would just be for First Class. Those in Second Class who wanted the internet or computers or medical advances from government funded research would have to pay for the research first.
If you want goods or services as a second class American you would either pay as you go or wait until the rest of us are served.
That horrible debt? Well, those people who don’t want to pay for it collectively should just be assigned their share to settle up with the Chinese as best they can.
And civil rights, I wonder how much we should charge for those?
The advantages seem clear. Those who choose to live in Second Class America will be free to keep their taxes and their standard of living low. And for those who want a First Class America, we can pay for the privilege of living in a country that offers us the best of everything.
Eric Shaw Quinn 